Monday, September 12, 2011

Remembering 9/11

It’s quiet in my house now, early morning 9/12/2011.  I finally have some time to sit down and reflect on the events of 10 years ago today.

I think it was in a church school parking lot where I had my first good cry.  It was so sad, but it was also a cry of relief – my husband is a pilot for American Airlines and he was at home.  I wondered in my thoughts how I would have handled that phone call from the company that awful day.  I am never really comfortable on the 9/11 anniversaries.  I feel a bit guilty being one of the lucky ones whose beloved family member was safe and sound.

“Where were you on 9/11?”  It was early morning on the West Coast when the planes struck the Twin Towers in New York.   I was awake, but not yet out of bed.  My son and my husband were nestled in with me.  My son was just in kindergarten then and didn’t need to be roused out of bed for school like he does now.

The phone rang.  I could tell from the caller i.d. that it was my sister.  I never liked getting phone calls early in the morning from family – it always meant trouble.  The first thing she asked was if my husband was home.  I told her that he was and she told me to turn on the television.  She said that a plane had hit a building in New York.  Just after I turned on the t.v., the second plane hit the other Trade Center building.

We got my son out of the room and started to get him ready for school.  We actually wondered if there would be school that day, but we hadn’t heard anything different, so we drove him in.  I explained to his kindergarten teacher that Ryan had a vague idea of what had happened – as much as a 5 year old could understand.  We did not really understand what was happening either.  I felt good about taking him to school.  I knew that he would be cared for and loved, and that he would be able to go up to the sanctuary in the Episcopal Church building where his school was housed.  Since it is our home church, I knew he would feel safe and comfortable there.

In the days that followed, I felt despair, sadness, relief, confusion, anger, and strangely, profound love.  I experienced, with a deepness I had never felt before, the love of family, friends, and neighbors.
Today, the anger has subsided.  But the love for my husband, son, friends and neighbors has only grown.  Love – one;  anger – zero.